It takes many years to build trust in a romantic relationship, and yet barely even a minute to destroy it. Women who believe themselves to be truthful and trustworthy often find that they’re significant other occasionally lies to them. To women, lies from the men they love are inexcusable, and they hurt like hell. They want to understand: Why do men lie?, and more specifically, Why do men lie to women they love?
You’re a woman who wants the truth, so here it is. These are the 6 most common reasons why men lie in relationships:
- To Avoid Fights
If you’re a woman who tends to get mad or dramatic whenever your man tells you something you don’t like, then you may actually be forcing him to tell you what you want to hear, just for the sake of avoiding a hostile environment at home. For instance if he’s just been out to a completely innocent dinner with a coworker because they’re working late for a deadline and they got hungry and decided to take the meeting to the restaurant down the street, he may just lie to you, plain and simple, so he doesn’t have to spend the next half hour trying to justify his actions or trying to calm you down. If you’re a woman who just can’t cope with the bitter truth, maybe it’s time you change your ways. Otherwise, expect the lies to keep coming.
- To Build up His Ego or Impress a Woman
Some men lie to feed their own egos. He may lie and say things like “I scored the most points in tonight’s basketball game” or “I make six figures” or “I beat so-and-so at chess last month.” In his eyes, these little white lies will help him look better in your eyes. It’s true that 90% of men will exaggerate facts about themselves in order to impress a woman. A man’s worst fear is that if a woman knows the naked truth about his inadequacies, he may lose her. To avoid rejection, he may choose to lie to make the woman his.
- He is falling out of love
This is the most unfortunate reason of them all. For instance, he may lie in order to blow you off by saying “I can’t come to your cousin’s party this weekend” or “I’m too busy for dinner tonight” or “I’m in a meeting, can I call you later?” In this case, he may be falling out of love with you, or maybe just needs a little space to figure out how he feels about you. Our advice? Your best move is to give him that space, as hard as it may be. Smothering him or confronting him will only push him away further.
- To Hide the Truth
There are some lies that men tell to hide the truth from women. The truth might be unpleasant and hurtful to women they care about. If a man made a mistake, he may not be willing to confess his wrong doing and so he will cover it up with lies.
- To Avoid Work
Men lie to get away from chores sometimes. For instance, if you call him to pick laundry up on his way back home from the office, he may suddenly say he has an important meeting at that time. Or, if he agreed but then forgot to pick up the laundry, he might make up a story saying he remembered but something else important came up.
- To Be Normal
Some men believe that lying is normal, that it’s a useful tool of sorts that can help them out in certain situations. Kind of like a hammer. Or a screwdriver. If a man has used lying to achieve goals or get around sticky situations in the past, he will continue to lie. At least until lying fails to serve him well or help him out.
The Bottom Line:
Lying is not good, and it’s a vice that should be condemned at all times. However, women need to understand that the primary reason why men lie is to avoid a fight. He lies because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, or spend any time dealing with your uncalled for dramatic rage (his words, not mine). While of course it’s wrong to lie, you should know that he has primal male reasons for it. If you can realize that these little lies aren’t aimed at hurting you, then maybe you can let a few slide by. Or maybe you can teach him that his lies are unnecessary, because you can be a calm, rational, and understanding partner.