Are you interested in a guy in your neighborhood or at your office, but you’re not sure how to approach him? Or are you recently divorced and want to get out there and meet a new guy, but you’re clueless of the new rules in the dating game? Or perhaps you’ve spent a whole evening talking to a guy, but you’re not sure quite what to make of the conversation? Well, believe it or not, how to talk to a guy you like can actually be easy and fun, if you stay confident and follow these simple rules.
- Learn to Listen. This is actually a golden rule in most conversations that can have you chatting even with the most reserved guys. Conversations are two way streets, and you ought to keep quiet for enough time to actually listen to what he has to contribute. When learning how to talk to a guy you like, you should keep in mind that unless you want to bore him, you’ll need to listen in order to understand his perspective on the different topics you’re discussing.
- Talk while doing something together with him. Talking to a guy can be a lot more easygoing if you’re both focusing on an activity, and the conversation is just a by-product. Guys seldom “talk” as the activity itself. But doing something fun together will assure him that the two of you will never run out of things to talk about, because you’re able to do cool things together. For instance, imagine yourself standing around the pool table, playing a game of pool. This takes the pressure off of what to say, because you can always just discuss the activity you’re doing, as well as anything else on your mind.
- Don’t try too hard to impress him. It’s never good to portray yourself as Miss Perfect in the presence of the guy you like. Most guys understand and will appreciate women who are sincere even in making their weaknesses and flaws known. Flubbing up here and there is obvious, especially when you’re nervous. Just make fun of yourself and move on. Trying to hard will just seem awkward.
- Flow with the moment. Even if you have an idea of how you want your date to go, and what topics you want to talk about, it’s best if you let things take their own course. Don’t force the guy or yourself into a conversation if it will take the date into an unnatural direction. Rule of thumb? Be easygoing and flexible.
- Engage him. An important consideration when talking to a guy is to engage him in conversations through questions. He may be a good listener, but he may be a little shy as a talker. But by asking questions, you’ll make it easy for him to open up, because his next move (simply answering your question) is pretty straightforward. That will take the pressure of creating conversation off any guy, and he’ll appreciate it.
- Allow him to take control. Men feel comfortable in situations where they have control. This might appear sexist, but it’s the truth. If you dominate the conversation too much, then you might make him feel inadequate. So give him the opportunity to start conversations, then follow his lead. If he really likes you, he will be sensitive enough to give you the time and opportunity to talk as well.
- Do not be too rigid. If you’re too rigid, it sends the message that you are not comfortable being around him. If you can, try to be playful and even funny to assure him that you’re completely free and comfortable. This will allow him to drop his guard, and he’ll return the favor by being playful and flirtatious too. Feeling this way will only make him want to spend more time with you.
The Bottom Line:
Learning how to talk to a guy you like is easier than most women think. The most important thing to keep in mind is that men approach conversations differently. For you, “talking” is a real activity. For him, “talking” is a by-product of other activities. Furthermore, you should remember when talking to a guy that emotions play an important role in communication. If you follow these guidelines, and ensure that you are fun to be around, then you will no longer find it hard talking to a guy you like!